My Heart is Broken
by claceloverfever
Summary: Just an idea I came up with. Takes place in the second book, after Benedict Lightwoods' demonic party. All Tessa's POV. About her thoughts on Will and the kiss. Taken from my favorite song my heart is broken by evanescence.


**Okay so this is a one-shot. It takes place after Will and Tessa come back from Benedict Lightwoods' gruesome party for demons and stuff. This is my idea on what should be in the book. It is based on my all time favorite song, My heart is Broken by evanescence. If you haven't heard it drop all your crap and go listen to it. It will help you get a better understanding of the story. I own nothing except for my crazy plot/idea. Enjoy!**

**Tessa's POV **

After returning to the institute and quickly hurrying to my room, I finally took a moment to think about tonight's events. After that kiss with Will and then him running off, my mind was a mess. Yes, I have come to realize that I love him. But how can I show it when he either pushes me away or runs off right after. Granted we were interrupted before the most recent kiss. How did this become my life? What happened to staying with my beloved books forever. Did that all just vanish into thin air when I arrived here? Then finding two beautiful boys who both have equal claim to my heart, but yet I still can't chose for the life of me.

Am I to wonder untill the end of time torn away from Will. All I want to do is sleep, just close my eyes and drift away. But alas I stay awake in my dress that I wore to the party. I stay awake over the fear that my heart is forever broken. That I will never find a way to heal my soul.

Maybe I am to wonder on until the end of time. For I know that my heart is indeed broken. Oh how can that boy sleep at night knowing what he is putting me through. He is not my knight in shining armor or a prince out of a fairytale.

He is my dark angel.

Angel hear my plea, deliver us, all of us, from this war that is raging on in ourselves. Deliver us from this sorrowful hold on our lives, and in our very beings.

I wish I had the power, the strength to go on and live like this without shedding a tear. Or breaking down just once. But I know I can't. I also know I can't very well go back the way I came. Back into the world of normalcy. I know to much, I am in to deep to ever begin to feel safe. I also know that even if I could go back, I would miss every new friend I made here. To many faces to count.

Curse Will and everything else about him. Curse everything in this strange and terrifying world. I am cursed with being immortal..I will have to go on until the world ends. Torn away from those I love. Half alive without my loves. I felt like screaming, sobbing, and rocking back and forth trying to stay calm and keep what very little sanity I had left.

In order to do this I start to walk around my room hoping the comfortable and familiar sound of the angel around my neck.

Tick tock,tick tock...

As I start to feel myself calm down, I feel a small smile grace my lips. Then I take a deep breath and open my eyes. All the calmness, and tranquility in the room disappears in the exact moment I make eye contact with myself in my mirror. I am a mess and there is no way to hide the broken and confused look in my eyes.

Now anyone who walked into the room could and can see what I look like. My dress isn't that bad, but looks like it may be a bit old and worn from the color. My makeup looks fine, though it makes my face seem sad but lovely. But it shows something that nothing can hide.

My heart is broken.

I hope Will is sleeping fine knowing what he is doing. Sweet sleep my dark angel. Don't worry about the hardships you put me through. How you make me want to just say goodbye, but make me want to never leave.

Oh my good heavenly angels please I beg of you, deliver me from my sorrow and heartbreak! The dark angel that sleeps peacefully only a few halls down has brought me both heaven and hell on this earth I once lived so simply on! When will this beautiful yet twisted nightmare come to an end? Or will it consume me to where I will wonder forever.

Dear Will, my love who I do not know completely, change for me. For us. Open your eyes William Herondale! For you are so blinded by everything and anything else that you do not see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Tessa was so caught up in thought she didn't notice that dawn was upon her and peeping through the curtains.

I know that I to was also blinded by the darkness. I denied it for so very long it amazes me. Oh, how I denied it. If you will not change or open your eyes, You and I must say our final goodbye. Though please know that there will not be a day that goes by where you are not on my mind.

My heart is broken my love. Release me from your captivating mind and charming smile. I cannot hold on to this hope that everything that you and I ever thought we could be can come true.

Dark angel, sleep sweet and tomorrow have mercy on me. Tessa by now had seen the sunlight's reflection in the mirror in which she was still gazing into. Though by now, her expression had changed into one of deep anger, regret, and sorrow.

My heart is broken.

Sweet sleep, my dark angel.

But release me from sorrows hold.

Then Tessa smashed the mirror in a moment of passion. Sophie had come into the room only seconds later.

"Ms. Gray, are you all right," the young maid asked. Tessa turned to her with a new way of seeing everything in the world. "Yes, I just had a moment of weakness. But I think I am over it." Tessa then smiled at her friend with a usual smile that she gave.

"And how many times have I told you, call me Tessa."

**Authors' Note-**

**I think this is really good! I mean this is one of my best by far. If you haven't already checked out the song, please do it now! Remember to REVIEW, FAVORITE, and FOLLOW. THX!**


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